my sex lupine.
my mind pelagic.
my religion dirt.
my love for the Divine evergreen.
soul of mine, you rust with the iron of ancients.
heart inside,protected barbed wire gated
controlled by austere grey monolithic boots
fear from Daddy.
hatred anger spill down empty self.
reject the olive paste of yesterday.
passionate worship love burns fury coals leap white hot burning finger tips and lips.
desire to heal with unmanicured hands.
sailor speech and scholar squawk
eyes etched hurt deep mistrust of humanity
hunger for hope
crawling cadaver clawed free from death cave with the help of Son-of-Man.
eager to shake off the ash of seducing young boys to their destruction, wanting freedom from trust issues, dominating control freak reactionary.
stench of selfish sin nostrils repulsed stomache turns.
questioning brown pews faded wood chapels orange beveled glass and off white walls exuding scent of annoiting oil
second-guessing well worn jericho marched mauve carpets
rethinking fear tactics emotional circus hyped hell
disgusted by long nosed glances of disapproval dressed in sunday’s best toting a book rarely opened
haunting image of a prophet and a laughing stock.
a saint and fool.
broken to be a universal. one without walls. leaving behind race. sex. religion. leaping space and time bending the absolutes
holding in my palm the tattered Torah and smiling at Buddha. Mosque praying- hearing my known God say hello.
But this Christ, experience so vivid like grass stains on georgian blue jeans, red clay gathered in my toes, small blonde girl before being called a boy.